Wednesday, May 16, 2007

Oh, the horror

Here is further proof that Regine Velasquez is indeed living in a time warp.

In this video she is singing "Shine," an Ima Castro original, and passing it off as hers, as if Ima Castro, a better singer, had never existed, and she is wearing one bright glittery silvery metal-mesh glove. Just one glove. One just one hand.

Michael Jackson comes to mind, in his Thriller era. The King of Pop himself has evolved into a ghoul, an actual incarnation of the Thriller era.

Could it be safe to say that her Mariah Carey butterfly imitation days are over? To be perfectly honest, though, I don't know which is the worse horror -- that she is veering towards an era of Michael Jackson imitations, or that she had stooped imitating Mariah Carey so she could be herself.

Tuesday, May 15, 2007

Bad night

Here we have another person who cannot seem to handle the idea of an unbroken black dress.

A photo of a different view of this dress does not exist, so I cannot be afforded a different perspective, but from this one lone photograph, I can say that there is nothing else I can ever see of this outfit that can make me change my opinion of it. Why the colordul sash, ala Beauty Queen? And, of all colors of the spectrum, why fuchsia and lemon yellow? I don't know what award she has won on that occasion, but she seems to be carrying a fancily-wrapped bunch of yoghurt cups, a fact that she seems to be trying to be happy about in her, ah, acceptance speech.

This was not a good night for Sharon Cuneta

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Monday, May 14, 2007


I wonder if all entrants to Pinoy Big Brother are required to read George Orwell's classic novel, 1984. But I doubt it. People who read good literature naturally make sense, in life and in dressing themselves whenever they go out in public. Pinoy Big Brother people, on the other hand, don't seem to be well-read to me. Just look at the ones from the first batch:

Left to right: A man in a white shirt and with hair that a toddler styled, man wearing a pink floral scarf, a girl wearing a pink formal dress and a black fanny pack, a man who can't sing, a woman with no eyebrows, Mad Max wearing eyeliner, a girl who overdid the push-up bra, a generic-looking nobody, a diminutive matronly woman wearing a curtain and slippers, and a very tall four year-old.

What a cesspool of bad taste and useless drama.


Sunday, May 13, 2007

Time warp

Regine Velasquez has got to stop fooling around with time. She has these strange long bouts of wearing the exact same dress over and over for years,
but sometimes, ever so rarely, as if in a flash of defiance, she decks herself out as if she were ten:

I'm pretty certain it's all to appear sweet and ageless, and, well, like a butterfly:

But she's almost forty, it's not sweet and ageless, but just so sad. Even Mariah Carey has stopped doing the butterfly thing half a decade ago.

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Saturday, May 12, 2007

Close call

Phew! I was actually worried that Susan Roces would, in the heat of her seeking for justice for her husband's death by natural causes, actually run for the Presidency.

Thankfully, she didn't, and the elections are over, although I'm no less appalled at what she has descended into. From this kind of FAMAS Best Actress:

To this kind of FAMAS Best Actress:

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Bad memories

I'm aware that Vina Morales somehow has a concept for this entire look.

But it does nothing for me except to remind me about those overly made-up prepubescent majorettes from provincial public schools that I used to watch when I was a child, and wishing, wishing that I'd never be made to wear vinyl white knee-high boots, ever.

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Friday, May 11, 2007

Subtlety works wonders

Even if Loi Ejercito does, to some degree, represent the plight of all wronged women in the Philippines (wronged both by her husband and her facial care expert), I still cannot seem to feel any sympathy with her.

Maybe it's because she's too literal.

I mean, does she have to be so in-you-face about being "in chains?" I'm sure it's probably a designer outfit and all (though it does not exactly look like Versace to me), and she must be making a point, wearing it when she is standing in some sort of convention beside her husband, each of them reading a novel, of all things, her copy of which she has marked in two different places, but no, I still don't feel any sympathy for her.

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Thursday, May 10, 2007


This is supposed to be a wallpaper created by a Toni Gonzaga fan, but I doubt it.

It's such a bipolar portrayal of the actress herself. On the foreground, she stands there looking sleepily at the person using the computer (the puffy face isn't helping at all), while in the background she is in the throes of some kind of despair. Is this supposed to show her range of acting abilities? If it is, then I suggest the creator put in something more there, such as Toni Gonzaga brushing her teeth.

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Wednesday, May 09, 2007


Ok. It's still unbearably hot and Richard Gomez and Cesar Montano are still running for the Senate. I don't know how Sarah Geronimo fits into all that grand design, but she seems to be proposing a new flag for some movement or other.

Note the symbolic colors (red for bravery, blue for integrity, lavender for women's rights and teal for -- ah -- singing.) And the buttons! I can't make out what they say, but from what I can figure out, the could be promoting some sort of clearer vision, an advice that Sarah Geronimo could benefit from herself, especially when she's looking in the mirror.

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Wednesday, May 02, 2007

The short and hot of it

Ah, well. I'm back! Not fully yet, though, as jet lag, apparently, takes days to disappear. It also does not help at all that I have arrived back into my poor suffering country in the middle of perhaps one of its hottest summers ever, from a country across the Pacific that is just getting into spring. That, and to realize that Richard Gomez is still running for Senator, is enough to keep me makeup-less and in bed watching old Maricel Soriano movies over and over again.

But I have not been abducted and thrown to the lions by the people I have, er, okray-ed in this blog. I am still my fabulous free self, thank you very much, and the only things I am slave to these days are gallons of unsweetened ice-cold dalandan juice and my beloved two-horsepower airconditioning unit. Now if only I could find a way to cart around these two for the trip to the mall -- to buy all the new celebrity trash magazines I have missed -- and back...

But since that is impossible, I suppose I shall have to brave the sweltering city heat. In a week or so, or after it rains, whichever comes first, I am going to blog again!

In the meantime, there's Maricel Soriano and ZsaZsa Padilla fighting over Gabby Concepcion.

Maricel Soriano: Are you doing it with my husband?!

ZsaZsa Padilla: Minsan.

Ah, bring in the dalandan juice!