Variations on a theme: The bedsheet print

It's not as if the print was so original, as I distinctly remember my parents having a bedsheet with the exact same print, but on a white background, and that was way back in the seventies. And it's not even that the print can be touted as "vintage," never mind that it had come from a seventies bedsheet.



It's just that using a bedsheet print for a dress for an awards night is quite appalling, an insult, even, to the award-giving body, even if it were the MMFA, which it wasn't, by the way, and to have two different women wear the same print on two different dresses, presumably -- and I fervently hope -- designed by different designers, is even more disturbing. Just like the direction that Philippine cinema is going, what with all the rip-off fantasy movies and the rip-off treasure-hunting movies and the rip-off psycho-suspense movies, everyone might as well rip off their couture and wear real actual bedsheets from Wamsutta twisted around their torsos, for all it's worth.

[Assunta de Rossi's photo from The Buzz Magazine, ZsaZsa Padilla's photo from Yes! magazine.]

The powers that can't

Ladies and gentlemen, the Laitera is proud to present you with a blow-by-blow account of the sartorial crimes of the President of the Republic of the Philippines at the recently held ASEAN Summit in Cebu City.

First, the Chief Executive arrives in Cebu wearing a seventies policeman's uniform.


She is wearing an oversized suit rendered entirely in khaki that creates an illusion of a FedEx cargo box bouncing along the red carpet. The untucked and superlong and oversized inner blouse have side seams that keep puckering, a trait of clothes that simply scream Baclaran. As she troops the line and salutes the colors she forgets that her handkerchief -- which dreadfully reminds me of Vilma Santos during her Vilma! days when she would scream "I love you, Lucky!" into the microphone that was wrapped with a white handkerchief -- should never be part of the salute.


The President is joined by Cebu Governor Gwen Garcia who showed her that khaki does'nt necessarily have to be drab:


Cebu Governor-Gwen wears a v-neck inner blouse that is several shades darker than her mocha cardigan, with a neckline that shows an elegant neckpiece. In contrast, President Gloria is paying a tribute to yet another Philippine institution, Manny Pacquiao.

Then, the duo of powerwomen proceed to inspect the Asean Summit site....


Gwen in sleek beige pantsuit (reminiscent of Ralph Lauren's all-American corporate chic), and pointed toe stilletos that give her a slim, elongated silhouette. And then Gloria in a rumpled bright bubble-gum pink pajama set patterned for the Teletubbies. Take note of her equally clunky suede clogs in a color that does not even match the outfit.

And then at the ceremonial unveiling where Gwen wears an hour-glass shaped terno, with flowing white drapings reminiscent of traditional Grecian attire.


And Gloria sings the blues in Mama Mon Chang's coordinates.



The country is in serious trouble. Only Cebu can save itself.